The Search For Switzerland

Let me preface this by saying that I work at a pretty fabulous department store, which I LOVE and the majority of our customers, the majority of the time, are usually wonderful and fun. However, within the past couple of weeks, it seems our loyal and wonderful customers are going through a phase equivalent to either the terrible two's or teenage, for example 

 On one particularly busy evening, a woman, her sister, and the woman's daughter/monkey came into my department.  It seems this woman had a preconceived notion that she looked like this... 

....when actually she looked like this....

.... and because she thought she was Victoria Beckham (complete with the hair cut and the sour smirk), she preceded to pose in the mirror for 30 MINUTES while her 3 year old daughter/monkey climbed on EVERY DISPLAY in my department while the mother's sister (read: aunt) chased her around like a crazy woman.  After she finished posing, she (finally) began picking out clothes. THANK GOD she was a 0  (her words...) so she didn't have to try ANYTHING on! But OH, that one tank top that we have three X-Smalls in on the rack wouldn't do. She needed the X-Small in the very same color and style, that was on the mannequin (which was on top of the tallest display in the store and in which to reach, I had to get a ladder from the backroom) because it was already fitted to HER body. (She really said all this...really). Finally after 20 minutes to the sound of taping Tory Burch black patent flats and a completely rearranged department due to the little rambunctious monkey, I got the tank top off of the headless and armless mannequin. 30 more minutes past and she finally had four appropriate outfits for her ski trip to some magical country called Switzerland in a mysterious land named Europe. Yes, I asked her where she was going and her exact words were "Switzerland (pause) it's in Europe." REALLY?! 

Needless to say I ended that night feeling alittle like this.....

Goodnight blog land, may all your dreams come true. I'm off to figure out where this dadgum place called Switzerland is....